I know this title seems particularly foreboding and it wasn’t necessarily meant to be that way; it just turned out like that. The reality is sometimes shit just happens. It doesn’t mean you’re asking for it, you caused it or that any of it is your fault. It just happens. I’d say that the past month in my life has really been an eye opener and there has been multiple reasons for this, some which I’ll probably talk about in later posts.
The fact that sometimes no matter how hard you try, as a person, life can just get you down has really hit me. For me I find my outlet in writing down my feelings or escaping into my favourite books and when I’ve gone from a slump of writing or reading loads to nothing. It gets to me. This month I’ve really been struggling to write anything. And, I’m putting this down to a lack of self. A lack of solitary in self. Who am I as a person? And, what do I want to achieve?
I’ve spoke in the past in a previous blog how one of my goals this year is to be myself. But what I’ve come to find is that your own self or being, changes constantly. Especially at the age that I am (20), I feel that nobody has truly found themselves at all. Also, I’m not sure if I’ve spoke about this before, but the reason behind my blog name is because I feel like a wandered soul. I feel very lost at times; wandering the abyss that is the world (which is incredibly scary).
After speaking to others its easy to see that I’m not the only one that feels this way. More often than not the retort is ‘you’ll be fine’ or ‘you’re just having one of those days’. So, I’m speaking to all those you’ve had that response: it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to feel like nobody understands you and it’s okay to be different than those surrounding you.
Society tells us today that we need to conform. We don’t. Those individuals that are different; stand out. I’ve always looked back at history and thought I’d like to be one of those people that contribute something. If that be my way of thinking so be it. To all the lost souls, be you to the extreme and don’t let anyone tell you different. And if shit happens, go with it. Obstacles are what make us and break us. They can destroy you but then you can rebuild and learn from them. And, like a phoenix reemerge from the ashes reborn.
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